10 Days to Process my Request?

Someone please tell me why it should take any web site more than 10 minutes to process my unsubscribe request? This morning, I unsubscribed from several lists at PGATour.com. To their credit, the unsubscribe process was simple. Once I was done, here was the "thank-you" screen.



It takes up to 10 days to process my unsubscribe? What's going on during those 10 days? Are you using a hammer and chisel, a la the Flintstones, to maintain your list of e-mail subscribers?

Stop your engine when pumping gas... Please!

We live in a litigious society. Instead of supporting the use common sense or taking responsibility for people's own actions, our society condones, and maybe even subtly encourages, suing people. So, it doesn't surprise me that companies will put up signs that seem like they should be common sense, but are there to protect the companies from lawsuits. We've all seen the warning labels on Styrofoam cups of coffee that you get at McDonald's that say, "Warning: Contents are hot." Well, duh... it's coffee. It's supposed to be hot. You're supposed to be careful when drinking hot coffee.

This morning, while I was at my local gas station pumping gas, a guy pulled up behind me, got out of his car and started to pump gas while his engine was running. Now, 99.9999% of the time, nothing happens. My issue is this: Is it such a big deal to turn off your engine while you're pumping gas? Is it a question of fuel economy? Is it laziness? Is it ignorance? Is it his way of rebelling against the establishment? Maybe he should visit the ESD Journal web site and read the various stories about static electricity causing fires at gas stations. If static electricity can cause a fire, what do you think an idling engine can do? Maybe he was waiting to be nominated for a Darwin Award instead.

Why Target is better than Wal-Mart

In Burke, VA, a Northern Virginia suburb, there's a Wal-Mart within 1/4 mile of Target. I dread going to Wal-Mart. While Wal-Mart's prices are slightly better than Target's, there are so many reasons NOT to go to Wal-Mart. In no particular order, here are a few:

• Wal-Mart NEVER opens enough checkout lanes.
• Wal-Mart ALWAYS looks as if a hurricane has blown through its aisles.
• When was the last time Wal-Mart waxed its floors?
• Can you ever find anything that you need at Wal-Mart quickly and easily?
• Can you ever find a Wal-Mart employee when you need one?
  

Why does it take 10 days to UNSUBSCRIBE?

After I unsubscribed to the Entertainment.com web site, here's what the web site returned:

Your e-mail preferences for "blahblahblah@blahblahblah.com" have been successfully submitted. Please note, it will take up to 10 (emphasis is mine) days for your request to become active.

Now, don't get me started on how I wound up on their mailing list to being with -- perhaps it was all the online sweepstakes/contents that I entered :-) -- but can someone please tell me why it takes up to 10 days to unsubscribe to an e-mail list? We can put a man on the moon, but you can't take me off your unsubscribe list for 10 days?

BTW, isn't the phrase "We can put a man on the moon, but we can't ..." a little outdated? What else would you use in place of that?

I Was Here First!

How many times have you gone to a restaurant or retail establishment, waited in the correct line, gotten to the front of the line, only to hear the phone ring and see the employee rush to pick up the phone? What's the deal with that? Is this some kind of ingrained, Pavlovian response that's embedded within our DNA? At the very minimum, they could acknowledge my place in line and excuse themselves to go answer the phone. But, no... as soon as the phone rings, they're off to pick it up. Wait a sec... is that my cell phone ringing? See you later...

Casino for Kids?

Recently, my daughter received a Webkinz stuffed animal as a present. It's not much different than any other stuffed animal you can buy, except for one thing. Webkinz has developed a web site that provides a virtual world in which you and your stuffed animal can interact. OK, so far, it sounds innocent enough. My problem with Webkinz is the concept of KinzCash and how kids can "earn" KinzCash.

KinzCash is simply currency that kids can use on the Webkinz web site to purchase items for their virtual stuffed animal to use in the Webkinz online world. Kids can buy rooms for their stuffed animal to live in. They can buy food to feed their stuffed animal. What virtual stuffed animal is complete without a cool outfit to wear? You get the point. So far, so good. I still don't have a problem with this part of Webkinz.

My problem with Webkinz is with some of the ways that kids can "earn" KinzCash. There are a few activities that, to me, are harmless enough. I don't have a problem with trivia contests or games of skill. Webkinz also offers games of chance that are too similar to what real (and online) casinos offer. For instance, there's a game that is essentially a video slot machine. There's another game called "Wheel of Wow" that is a "wheel of fortune" type of game, where you spin the wheel win a prize. Now, Webkinz does limit the number of times a kid can play each game per day; however, most people, myself included, would be in favor of rules to protect kids from visiting online casions. Why is Webkinz any different?

Television coverage of the Uper-say Owl-bay

We can put a man on the moon. We can split the atom. We can even clone sheep. However, CBS can't figure out how to keep their camera lenses clean and free of raindrops during the Super Bowl -- uh, I mean the "Big Game" (sorry, NFL)? Come on...

How About Some New News?

Dear Mr. Local TV News Producer and Ms. Local Newspaper Editor,

How about some new news? I'm tired of the same old stories over and over again. Do these examples sound familiar?

Every time Sony, Nintendo, or Microsoft releases a new video game system, you're there to report on how early the first person started camping out at the local Circuit City or Best Buy or how many (crazy) people are in line waiting to get their hands on the latest game system. What's even better is when you interview the folks standing in line. Here's what the interview always sounds like...

Reporter (asking the first person in line): So, how long have you been waiting in line for [video game system]?

First Person in Line: I've been here for a week now.

Reporter (chuckling in amazement) : Wow, that's a long time. Is [video game system] really worth it?

First Person in Line: Yeah, it's cool. I want to be the first person on my block to get [video game system]. (What he doesn't say is that he's going to turn around and auction it off on eBay as soon as he gets it...)

Now, the great thing about this formula is that you can reuse it for more than just video games. Instead of the Sony Playstation 3 or Nintendo Wii, it might be the next Star Wars movie or Tickle Me Elmo doll. There will always be (insane) people who wait for days/weeks to be the first on their block to buy something; but is it really news?

Mother Nature is always good for a few stories, especially during the winter months. If I read another newspaper story or watch another segment about how people go nuts before the next big winter snowstorm, I may pull my hair out! Here are the places your reporters always go:

• Lowe's or Home Depot
• Grocery store
• Sand/salt storage facility

Is there ever anything newsworthy that happens at these places? No! At the hardware store, you always show hoardes of people buying chemicals to melt ice or snow shovels and/or the empty shelves where the ice-melting chemicals or snow shovels would be. At the grocery store, you always interview people standing in line with enough milk, bread, candy and toilet paper to last for the next month. At the sand/salt storage facility, you always interview the truck drivers who are getting their trucks loaded or sitting by the side of the road. Is it really news? Just tell me how much ice/snow/sleet we're going to get and where the traffic problems are.

Black Friday is another great one. For those who have been living under a rock for the past fifty years, Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving, and, for most retailers, the busiest shopping day of the year. The reason it's called Black Friday is because that's when the holiday shopping season starts and retailers finally turn a profit and "get in the black." In some ways, the same formula for the latest video game/toy/movie works for Black Friday. You always show the lines of people waiting to get into Target, Walmart or the local mall at 5AM in the morning to buy stuff. It's not news...

With so many outlets for news and information now, it can be hard to be heard and/or seen; however, that's even more reason to avoid these overused and cliched news stories, go out into our local communities and find the unique newsmakers and stories to lead your 6-o'clock broadcast or place on the front page of your newspaper.

Sincerely,
Stream of Rants

Post Election Rants

... I abhor all the campaign signs that litter the medians after an election. I think political candidates (and the groups that support them) should have to pay a tax on each sign they put up.

... No more robo-calls! The Do-Not-Call list should extend to political organizations, too.

... A thumbs down to those people who say that they won't vote for a particular candidate because they've received a recorded telephone message at dinnertime from that candidate (or an organization that supports that candidate) Look, I don't like robo-calls either -- see above -- but that reason alone is not enough to influence who I vote for.

... Are all the numbers shown on TV during their election night coverage, like the number/percentage of precincts reporting or the total vote count for each candidate, really necessary? Does the general public really care that 3% of the precincts have reported or that John Doe has 523,325 votes so far? Just tell me who the smart guys in the back room have projected to win and what the big picture looks like.

... Stop using worn cliches like "If you don't vote, you can't complain" to encourage people to vote. Instead, let's focus our attention on making it easier for people to vote. For starters, why can't I vote at a polling location besides the one where I live?

... Who decided that Republicans are red and Democrats are blue? Does this mean that the Green Party would be green? What color are Libertarians?

... Last, but certainly not least, I hate all the negative ads that are prevalent in today's political climate. The signal-to-noise ratio in most campaigns is so low that it's shameful. We need strong, intelligent and thoughtful men and women to serve in political office in this country. Who, in their right mind, would want to run for public office in the current political climate?

Customer Service -- the good, the bad and the bizarre...

From rude salespeople to telephone representatives that don't speak (or understand) English well, we've all had the occasional bad customer service experience. The past few days though, I've seen more than a few cases of poor customer service, as well as one extremely positive experience, and thought I'd rant about both the good and bad.

First, the bad. I use Earthlink as my DSL provider. I've used their DSL service for the past 6 years and have not had many problems. It's not the fastest option anymore, and I think it's expensive for the actual download/upload speed that I get, but the service is reliable and inertia keeps me from switching providers. Anyway, a few days ago I experienced extreme slowness in my DSL connection and I used their online IM/chat feature to speak with customer service. The chat took almost an hour. What was frustrating was the fact that we didn't actually exchange that many actual messages. Between looking up my information and the inordinate amount of time between the rep's responses, it took almost an hour to submit a trouble ticket. The customer service rep was friendly enough; my suspicion was that he/she was juggling several different IMs at once and wasn't able to focus on me exclusively. Once my trouble ticket was created, I waited another few days for someone to call me to discuss the issue. I spoke to one rep and got a voice mail from a second. I had a very difficult time understanding either person. At least with the person I spoke to on the phone, I could ask her to repeat what she said. I must have listened to the voice mail two or three times and still could barely make out what the rep said. I understand the financial motivation for companies to move jobs offshore. I don't like it, but it's a reality that is here to stay. But, please, please, please, hire people that can speak English (or whatever language they use to communicate with your customers) clearly and slowly -- especially when they leave a message on voice mail or my answering machine.

Now, the bizarre... I was returning a purchase at a local computer retailer earlier today and, I kid you not, one of the customer service folks was actually sucking on a lollipop while attempting to help customers. He made no effort to take it out of his mouth. He just kept sucking on it and talking out of the side of his mouth! Too funny... I guess it could have been worse. He could have been eating his lunch while trying to help customers.

Last, the good. My wife and I had dinner at Cityzen in Washington, D.C. recently. It's in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel and is very, very expensive, but the food is fabulous and the service was exceptional. Everyone from the valet parking attendant to the hostess to the entire wait staff was truly fabulous. There's no way the staff at Cityzen was able to provide such good customer service without the entire organization embracing customer service, providing staff with proper training and empowering them to solve issues quickly and creatively. I applaud Cityzen and its staff for its committment to excellent customer service and recommend the restaurant highly to anyone who enjoys a great meal!

Why Competition is Good

In the area that I live in, there is one major company that offers residential trash service. A few years ago, there were two companies that offered trash service in my neighborhood. The larger company bought the smaller company, and, lo and behold, changes were forthcoming. The monthly cost of trash service went up, while customer service went down. The actual people who pick up the trash do a nice job and I'm very happy with them; it's the customer service folks and, more importantly, the inane, outdated procedures they follow that amazes me.

One of the wheels on the rolling garbage container they provide keeps falling off. It's a real pain to roll a full garbage can on one wheel. I called customer service yesterday and spoke to a rep about getting a new garbage can. Here's the gist of the conversation:

Rep: So, you need a new garbage can?

Me: Yes.

Rep: OK, they deliver new cans to your area on Thursdays. So, please put your can out for the next 2 or 3 Thursdays.

Me: But wait... my trash pickup days are Tuesday and Friday.

Rep: Yes, the folks that deliver new cans only deliver on Thursdays.

Me: OK, can you arrange for one to be delivered this Thursday?

Rep: No. It may 2 or 3 weeks.

Me: You can't tell me exactly which Thursday to put my can out?

Rep: No. I can't tell you when they'll be able to replace it.

Me (thinking to myself): OK, so I'll put my can out for the next three Thursdays. What happens when (not if) it's not replaced three weeks from now?

Me: OK, thanks.

OK, I understand that I may not be able to get a new garbage can tomorrow, but you can't tell me precisely when I should put my can out to get a new one? Come on... my only recourse is to to rant about it on this blog and call up one of their competitors to discuss new service. Monopolies stink.

What's in a Name?

We refurbished our basement recently. It's amazing what a new paint job, new lights and (a lot of) spackle will do to a room :-) Everything went smoothly, except for the blinds. My wife visited a retail store of "a major manufacturer and retailer of high-quality, custom-made window treatments". The company shall rename nameless; however, as a hint, the company name promises blinds sooner than next month, next week or the day after next.

As with many other household projects, we were motivated to finish by a hard deadline. We had out-of-town visitors coming and we were planning on having them sleep in the basement. Having blinds for the basement was important. My wife saw some vertical blinds she liked, placed an order at the store and paid the deposit. Much to my surprise, they promised that the blinds would be installed within a week. Huh? What about having the blinds sooner, like the name of the store says? Well, you can get blinds within 24 hours, but only after reading the fine print and realizing that you can get them the next business day if you order less than 20 blinds of a particular brand, by 4PM. I guess http://www.blindsnextbusinessdayforlessthan20ofonebrand.com was taken. Flame off...

Dateline NBC: To Catch a Predator, Enough Already...

While I am disturbed by what I've seen on the Dateline NBC show entitled, "To Catch a Predator", enough already! Yes, Chris Hansen has done a tremendous public service in alerting parents (and children) about the potential dangers of unsupervised use of chat rooms and instant messaging services. Yes, the recent revelation by Rep. Tom Foley of his inappropriate conversations with congressional pages is disturbing and underscores the importance of teaching your children about safe use of the Internet and monitoring their activities appropriately. Yes, like a car accident by the side of the road, I can't help but watch the program if I stumble across it while channel surfing. Enough is enough! Have all the network news magazine and investigative shows become like Geraldo or Jerry Springer?

Cell Phone Headsets

Cell phones... I could rant all day about cell phone equipment, cell phone companies, cell phone etiquette, etc. For now, let me rant about people who use wireless headsets in public. First, that thing that wraps around your ear looks hideous. Until the earpieces are much smaller and/or more inconspicuous, I'm not using them. Second, it's bad enough that we're constantly being bombarded by various forms of natural and man-made electromagnetic waves. Can it be good to have one more wireless device so close to your head? Third, back in the day, people who walked around talking to no one in particular were thought to be crazy. Now, someone who's alone and moving their lips might actually be having a real conversation with a real person (or they might still be crazy).

Now that I've got that off my chest, let me say that wireless headsets aren't all bad. People with disabilities that prevent them from using their hands to use a cell phone may find a wireless headset to be a necessity. Also, I'd prefer that people use a wireless headset to talk on their cell phone while driving, instead of having to look down from the road to look at their phone. Hmm... distracted drivers... That's too easy of a rant :-)

Whispered Station IDs

The local radio station that carries the Redskins, the new Triple X ESPN radio, plays these annoying, whsipered station IDs. I'll be listening to the John Riggins show or the Dan Patrick show, and, at the worst possible moment, I'll hear a (loud) whisper that says, "You're listening to the new Triple X ESPN radio." Inevitably, the whisper is loud enough so that I miss something interesting that's being said.